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By caragoub Latest Activity June 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm Views 1,067 Replies 3 Likes 1

caragoub

Hi - I am introducing myself here for the first time - I live in France and am an American. I am also a psychotherapist myself, struggling with my own recurrent, chronic depression for most of my life.
Had first major episode in 1995, and luckily have never needed the hospital again since then but I've come pretty close, especially recently.
I related a lot to Richard O'Connor's book "Undoing Depression" where as a therapist he dared to "come out" as a sufferer. I live in a very small town here where it would be a disaster for me to "come out" in the same way - so it's very lonely.
So that's the main reason I'm here. I'm here because every morning is a black struggle - well, practically every morning. I'm here because everything feels bleak and terrifying - and in spite of all my understanding and training, sometimes I just want to…disappear/run away…or worse.
I can't even write this well - the words aren't flowing. I'm nervous I think about "coming out" on here. I would love to have a bit of company through all this. FYI -middle-aged woman married (to lovely man) with three (lovely) sons. Thank God for that. I want to say it again - thank God for that.

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