Finding help

By BlackDahlia Latest Activity April 29, 2015 at 12:56 pm Views 1,497 Replies 8


Long story short I visited a therapist to help myself get better and she decided she didn't want to see me anymore after one visit. I have extreme trust issues with deep roots. I've dealt with verbal physical and sexual abuse. My boyfriend was abusive for a while but he's a changed person, we were 16 when we met we just turned 17 when we started dating and we are adults now. It's hard for me to see him as the man he is instead of the boy he was. I have anxiety and battle eating disorders, I have insane jealousy with deep roots that sadly my boyfriend encouraged for years. So he himself is a reminder as to why I'm so insecure and jealous. He abused drugs, lied, manipulated me, used me, it's hard stuff. This is on top of struggling against verbal abuse from my dad. Everyone walks on eggshells around him. Anyways, my point is i have a lot on my plate and I don't know what to do since the therapist sent me on my way with a phone number to a domestic violence shelter and NA. I paid $50 for two numbers I could get online that I don't need and a feeling of hopelessness. I paid someone who just made me feel worse! What do I do?

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Replies (8 replies)

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  • Snoopy_xx3
    Snoopy_xx3 May 11, 2015 at 12:13 am   

    How are you now?

  • BlackDahlia
    BlackDahlia May 11, 2015 at 3:38 pm   

    I'm good I'm a little less stressed. I can't go find a psychiatrist right now I don't have the time or money to blow looking for someone who can actually help and not waste my time. I'm doing alright though things are okay right now

  • Snoopy_xx3
    Snoopy_xx3 May 11, 2015 at 8:42 pm   

    That's good! …well not the stressed part but that you're fine. May I ask if you're still with your boyfriend? , and why wouldn't a therapist help you? Like why didn't she want to see you anymore? I'm sorry, I'm just curious. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I'm here if you ever need to talk.

  • BlackDahlia
    BlackDahlia May 12, 2015 at 11:37 am   

    Yeah we are still together, and things are good between us right now. I'm not sure why she didn't want to see me, she tried to send me to NA to talk about my issues with my boyfriends drug use and gave me a number for a woman's shelter for domestic abuse but I told her i was there to work on myself my anxiety and my relationship which are all things she listed she was qualified to help with. I'm not being abused and my boyfriend isn't on drugs anymore, I just brought them up because those events have had effects on my state of mind. She didn't really give me any reason for why she didn't want to see me though or refer any one else who might have actually been able to help.

  • Snoopy_xx3
    Snoopy_xx3 May 12, 2015 at 8:46 pm   
    Edited May 12, 2015 at 8:47 pm by Snoopy_xx3

    That's a bit weird that she just didn't tell you why she didn't want to see you again. Did you ever call her back? …Did you ever try talking to your boyfriend about it? In my opinion, I don't think being with him right now is good for you. You said he's a reminder of why you're that way. Unless that died out? But you can't really work on your relationship with him without working on yourself. Yes, he may have changed but its hard to be in that transition while you're still broken from what he did in the past. You may need time for yourself. It seems like you've been through a lot with him and if you really want it to work for you and your relationship, you should be alone and think about what really makes you happy or would make you happy. And he should understand that. Do something that you wouldn't usually do or exercise, go to the movies, listen to music, dance…anything to get your mind off of things. I personally just sleep it off (I don't think that's really helpful though since I usually wake up anxious o.o)

  • neets35
    neets35 April 30, 2015 at 1:55 am   

    I think what you need to do first is read. Go and get Psychopathfree and read it. You have serious indications of a lack of self-worth and he is triggering the crazy making behaviour as a control mechanism. There is a whole chapter about it. Read up on gas lighting, love bombing, and the silent treatment. I know you are going to say that he has changed and if only you weren't so jealous it would be fine and that feeling is so strong I won't even try to knock your belief which is what your therapist tried to do. Just for the moment I am showing you the game that he is playing and you didn't even know you were playing a game. I have learnt the rules and it makes life a lot easier. Once you learn them and apply them too you will feel a lot better. Feel free to message me if you want to.

  • jo28
    jo28 April 29, 2015 at 1:08 pm   

    Therapists only really work if they are the right on for you. Trust, abuse etc are really hard to deal with and you think your turning a corner and another aspect of it comes back to bite your bum or that's what I've found anyway x

  • BlackDahlia
    BlackDahlia April 29, 2015 at 1:14 pm   

    I don't know how to find the right one when I have so many different issues, and I don't have the money to waste on the wrong ones

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