I'm alone

By yassy Latest Activity March 17 at 7:27 am Views 517 Replies 4

yassy

I just finished high school and i just started University. I feel so alone, i have been trying to make friends for the past 4 weeks now and no one wants a friendship. I dread going. I've started to become so stressed that i would get heavy nose bleeds in the morning and night, and would usually cry at night.
I can't even tell my dad, because he thinks i have friends. The more this happens the more i hate myself

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Replies (4 replies)

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  • sharenlea
    sharenlea March 31 at 3:39 am   

    Hi Yassy…I'm not a therapist, just a 74 yr. old grandmother from Alaska who wants to offer some thoughts for you to consider. You just started university - what a stressful time this is for you, a new world you're starting, new routines, without the support of the friends you had in high school…my heart goes out to you. I'd suggest that those other students are likewise probably stressed out too and may not be ready to seek out friends for right now. Many of them are possibly feeling as empty and alone as you are. This has nothing to do with you - it's nothing you've done wrong…right now, initially, just focus on your school work, eat right, exercise, and take care of you. Maybe you could just do things you're interested in, whatever that may include. You may feel lonely initially as you settle into this new routine but friends ARE out there - you just haven't met them yet. Give yourself a break, OK? Friendships are formed when people have common interests. Don't say you "hate yourself"…you haven't done anything wrong to feel that way. I'm sorry you feel you can't talk to your dad but some dads just don't understand how women feel about things and therefore aren't able to understand what you're going through, even if you DID try to talk to them. It's not his fault - he's just a normal man who may not understand women all that well and may not be able to give you the comfort you need at this critical point in your life. You are special, you are unique, you have a lot to offer the world. You're just young and maybe trying too hard to make friends because you're feeling lonely right now. It's OK to be alone as you go through life. When you run across someone you share common interests with, those friendships you are desperately looking for will just happen. As I said, you've done nothing wrong - don't beat yourself up and think negative thoughts about yourself, OK? I've spent a lifetime doing that and it's not a comfortable place to be. When the right time comes for you and them, you WILL make friends to share your life and experiences with. In the meantime, just work on learning, taking care of you, and miraculous things will happen when you least expect it. This feeling of being alone will pass…it's just a stage of your life you're going through, and as my favorite Beatle, George Harrison, said…"All Things Must Pass"…and this will too…I see a bright and beautiful future ahead for you…wait for it…it's coming, OK?

  • yassy
    yassy April 15 at 5:12 am   

    Thankyou Sharenlea, i really am trying. I mean i've never really had a problem making friends but my boyfriend (who is a very popular boy) tells me that I have to improve myself. Basically, i am not making friends because it's my own fault. I like your advice a lot better. Thankyou for being here :)

  • angelofsins14
    angelofsins14 March 31 at 2:36 am   
    Edited March 31 at 2:37 am by angelofsins14

    I know how you feel. I was in a simular situation back when I was in high school. I didnt have many friends and was alone. I use to walk the hallways listening to music and got to class and was just silent. I was stressed out and lonely. My parents thought that I was ok and nothing was really wrong but I never told them how I felt. Just hang in there. If you need anyone to talk to or even a friend Im here for you.

  • yassy
    yassy April 15 at 5:15 am   

    Yeah man, its just so hard. It's been weeks now and i can't manage to keep a friend. I haven't really had a problem making friends as i am a very bubbly person. But I sit in lectures by myself and just look at people with their friends, and try to avoid people so they don't think i'm a loser… i mean i already feel like a loser. I just don't feel good enough anymore, even with my boyfriend, he is so popular and has so many friends. I just feel like i'm not worthy anymore.

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