By Poppies76 Latest Activity June 8 at 6:55 pm Views 949 Replies 3


I have been dealing with depression for a long time but refused it for years. Over this last year I have had to deal with it cause it is getting so bad I can't hide from myself anymore. I can't afford to go to anyone. I think about self harm but won't do it. Just taking up head space really. I read about self help but don't have the energy to do what it says. I feel so alone. Our family removed ourselves from a toxic situation but in doing so we lost all of our friends at the same time. So now i feel like besides my family, that I am trying to take care of I just want to hide and not deal with anything but at the same time want to go and live life to its fullest. So lost and alone. Thanks for letting me share.

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Replies (3 replies)

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  • Dr GaryCA June 12 at 9:56 pm   

    Hi Poppies76,

    It's good to meet you. And I am glad you checked in. Welcome!

    I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad about yourself and about life. I know money is a problem. Just wondered if you have insurance or on Medicaid. Either way, you might be able to get help through however your healthcare coverage is provided. It is worth a try. You might also check to see if you community mental health resources available.

    It is good to know that you have your family to rely on, that you are not alone.

    I hope you will continue to press forward in your life. Stay active. Get out and do things you enjoy. And I hope you will find a way to get some help. If you have a physician, you might start by asking him/her how to get help.

    Take care of yourself and stay in touch with us, my friend.


  • SRP281
    SRP281 June 11 at 3:38 pm   

    Dear Poppies76,

    I can relate to the part aboutt hiding. My brother and his wife lived with us for 10
    months and literally took over the kitchen,all the downstairs​.
    I ended up giving up and basically lived in my room.
    My brother was emotionally unpredictable. His wife ran the kitchen.
    I felt hopeless. I tried evicting them, but backed out at the last minute.

    They finally moved out June 5th. I feel alive again. Cleaning and boxing, downsizing and I've got my energy back again.
    Sometimes, it just takes making a choice. Today I choose to love myself so I choose to enjoy my shower and feel the joy of warm water on my skin. Something
    that small …baby steps…You deserve to be happy. I no longer cared what my brother thought because my mental health wasworth more than his opinions.

    I take it one choice at a time. That's what you do. Progress not perfection.
    Thanks for letting g me share.

  • Dr GaryCA June 12 at 9:58 pm   

    HI, nice to meet you. And wow, that is quite a story. So sorry to hear you went through this, and for such a long time. Sounds like you are really relieved, ready to enjoy your life again. It is amazing how the simple things can be so important, right? Thanks for sharing this with us!

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