Day 445- Loneliness

By yassy Latest Activity October 16 at 9:35 am Views 579 Replies 7

yassy

It’s been hard, really hard these past couple of weeks. I feel like i have no one at times when i know that my friends are there. But I literally go from being surrounded by people to total silence, and it’s killing me. I’m 19 years old and I currently live alone, i’ve just started university and i can say that this year has been one of the worst years of my life.

I did something different this time, i told some of my closest friends that i’m not ok. But i feel like they just blew it off as “oh it’s not that bad”, but i’m actually dying inside and i’m at a bad place. I’m starting to stay home a lot more, and focusing on nothing. I get that i can change, but no one understands that it’s easier said than done. I’m still struggling to make friends even though i’m usually very social and am the one to includes people. I just feel like that i’m worthless again, unloved, an object, but most of all- lonely. I feel like I don’t have anyone or that no one is taking how i feel seriously.

I know this paragraph is a bit everywhere but i’m sick of feeling like i’m worthless

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Replies (7 replies)

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  • Ocotillo15
    Ocotillo15 December 28 at 2:00 pm   

    Hi Yassy,

    I have friends who care about me, but they don't understand the concept of major depression. If I say anything isn't so great, they say that they have bad days too, but they go away or my parents say "Quit your whining, kid". A lot of people don't realize that, with major depression, you can't just "buck up and move on". Maybe some help at the University clinic can steer you in the right direction.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous November 21 at 1:32 pm   

    Hi Yassy, I can totally relate with how you feel. I have been struggling with depression since I was a teenager; I am now 46. I have always felt that people don't understand me. I never feel like I fit in anywhere. When I have a relationship of any kind I put more that 100% into it. Unfortunately I don't get that in return so I never feel satisfied. I get lonely all the time, but I am rarely alone. I just figured maybe I'm too needy and I hate that. No matter how good things are going in my life it's just not enough. Basically, what I am trying to say is that you are not alone. Having someone to talk to is very important. I see a psycho-therapist and I am on medication (Zoloft) to control my emotions. I've always been super sensitive but now, if I don't take my meds I will cry all the time. Talking helps a lot but make sure you are talking to someone you can trust. In my inner circle I always tell people how I am feeling so that they will be able to recognize unusual behavior. One thing that I have learned is that you can't sit back and wait on people. If you are lonely, reach out to people, develop nurturing friendships and start each day with a positive attitude.

  • D&AnTX
    D&AnTX October 29 at 9:45 am   

    Reach out to your university's health center. There is help out there for you. I know what it is to feel like you're standing still while everything around you is moving forward. Know that you aren't alone. While your friends want to be there for you, they may not be able to understand the depth of your feelings right now. Reach out to a health professional. If you have a regular doctor, start there. Speak to your parents if possible. They need to know how things are for you. You are not alone.

  • yassy
    yassy November 4 at 5:06 am   

    thank you for the advice i appreciate it, I'm not very close with my parents :/, or anyone in my family actually. I don't get included in much really

  • Dr GaryCA October 28 at 2:06 pm   

    Hi yassy! I am glad you checked in with us. So sorry to hear you are having a rough time of things. Being away at college isn't easy for many people. I was really lonely during my first year of college, it was just so hard to meet people and make friends. I was recently reading an article about how a lot of students have a lonely time when the are away at school, especially during the first year, but beyond for students that have trouble meeting people and forming relationships. Have you checked into the counseling center at your university? Most schools have a counseling center of some kind, where students can come in and talk things out, often on a regular basis, and get some help. Counseling centers also may sponsor groups that students can join to help them meet people. Just an idea. It sounds like you could use some support and that's what your college counseling center is equipped to do. I hope you will get some support. Don't go through this alone. And check in with us, okay? Let us know how you are doing.

  • yassy
    yassy November 4 at 5:08 am   

    Thank you, Dr Gray, I haven't tried the counselling at my uni, but I'll definitely give it a try. Do you ever feel lonely even with your family? like they don't know you?

  • Dr GaryCA November 27 at 12:26 pm   

    Hi Yassy, I think feeling some loneliness is just part of the human experience. Sometimes our families and friends don't always understand what we're feeling. Especially if we are experiencing something in life that they haven't experienced. So sure, I have felt that way. I think it helps to accept that people who care about us don't always "get" us, it doesn't mean they care about us any less. We each experience life in our own unique way. Always nice to see you.

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