Someone help me.....

By herecomesdeath0 Latest Activity December 20 at 2:44 pm Views 283 Replies 3 Likes 1

herecomesdeath0

Hi I’m Roo i am 22 yes old. I am a LNA, MHT and i have depression even though i don’t like to admit it. I am currently very depressed over everyday life shit. Also my relationship is on the line. My best friend killed himself a year ago and i haven’t been able to move on and it kills me everyday to know i didn’t try harder. I seriously have been thinking about killing myself and have thought of plans. I’m honestly at the end of my rope today and i just have it all planned out in my head and i just want to do it in a way that will be the Easiest on my family… i just need someone to talk to. Someone to listen and help me. I don’t know what to do anymore… please if you’re willing to help or just listen please email me Bananaguts0@gmail.comEmail Small

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Replies (3 replies)

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  • Dr GaryCA December 24 at 12:37 pm   

    Hey Roo, it's really good to meet you. I am glad you found your way to Depression Connect. I felt sad when I read your post. It sounds like you have a lot going on. It's hard to lose someone we really care about. To lose a friend to suicide leaves you with so many questions. Why would they make this decision? I know I sound like a therapist, which I am. But I just have to say that what you are experiencing is treatable. I hope that you will get some support. Do you have a friend or a family member you could talk to, who could listen without judging you or telling you what to do? I also just have to really encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional, who could listen while you talk about what's going on in your life and recommend a way forward. I hope you will reach out for help. Take good care of yourself my friend. And stay in touch with us. Let us know how you are doing. You are not alone.

  • herecomesdeath0
    herecomesdeath0 December 30 at 5:09 am   

    Hello! Thanks for your comment. My friend wanted to be with me but couldn’t get himself to ask i guess and he was also in the army and just came home and couldn’t shake the feeling of hopelessness. I ended up cleaning his mess and going through his stuff. I will never ever get that out of my head. Ironically i work on a psych unit and help people with depression and suicidal ideations. I have no family to talk to and my gf doesn’t like to listen to me. My friend who killed himself felt like no one listened to him and i feel like i just don’t belong here. I don’t know what is wrong. My last counselor told me i was crazy. So i stopped seeing her. Ughh. This is all too much for me. I’m sorry to be a bother.

  • Dr GaryCA January 5 at 3:04 pm   

    Hi Roo, you are anything but a bother, believe me. That is such a sad story about your friend. I know this must have been so hard for you. Given the kind of work you do, I suspect you are someone that other people naturally look to for support. That is a gift but it can also be a burden sometimes, as you experienced with the death of your friend. I am sure that experience took a lot out of you, as it would have me as well. I am rally sorry to hear you don't have any support, and you give so much to other people. I just have to encourage you to connect with another counselor, one who can listen without judging you and be there to give you the support you deserve. And I hope you will stay in touch with me. You are not alone, my friend.

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