Feel like i can do nothing right

By chetsgirl Latest Activity March 24 at 8:38 pm Views 2,553 Replies 3


I've bee dealing with my fiancee's family since i got him home from the hospital. He was hospitalized for carbon dioxide poisoning from his bi-pap and oxygen. His family is trying to control everything with him but never wants anything to do with him until he is in the hospital. They know nothing about his medical or his meds for over 10 years. What can i do to get them to stop pushing me out of his life. He has told them he wants me to take care of everything but they keep saying i am using him. I don't know what to do or where to turn. Please help me.

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Replies (3 replies)

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  • Dr GaryCA March 28 at 1:20 pm   

    HI chetsgirl, nice to see you. I have had clients in similar situations. It's sad how illness can bring out the best but also the worst of family members. So I know what you are going through here. What I would say to a client is that your boyfriend is an adult and has the right to make his own decisions, including how he is cared for when he is sick. I would tell my client to avoid getting into direct conflict with a partner's family members and, instead, be a supportive presence for your partner, and offer to help in whatever way their partner wants or needs them to. I think being a steady, compassionate presence is the way to go. Hopefully, in these situations, the partner is willing to state their wishes. I hope you will keep me posted on how you're doing.

  • chetsgirl
    chetsgirl March 31 at 12:33 am   

    His family is saying "I am taking advantage of him and using him" because he has made me power of attorney over everything since we plan on getting married. His family feels that i should have no say but they don't know anything about his medical cuz they never come around until he is hospitalized in serious condition. He has told them that it was his choice to sign everything over to me but they still keep saying i am using him. I don't know what to say or do to get them to stop saying it.

  • Dr GaryCA April 28 at 10:21 am   

    Hi! Sorry I didn't see your reply earlier. What I would say is that we can't control how other people choose to think or behave. They are going to think how they are going to think. I hope your fiancé continues to support you as he has been. It is his life and his decision. But again, they are going to behave as they will. I hope you are doing okay.

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