My first post

By MolovesHP Latest Activity June 9 at 10:06 pm Views 396 Replies 2 Likes 1

MolovesHP

So my year started off with me losing health insurance, and I really have nobody to talk to about my issues let alone any medicine. I’m so grateful that I found the space to share and be heard. Normally I say that I hate writing, because I think it just takes too long to get my ideas down on paper, but all throughout the day I have these thoughts that I wish could be captured somehow. So I’ve started recording myself and my posts are probably pretty random, but they’re what I’m feeling in the moment and I want to share them so I know I’m not the only one with them.

Earlier today:
“Really? You don’t look depressed.” “But you always seem so happy!”

What do you say to that? -Thanks? -No, really I am!!

Why do I have to defend my feelings? I know most people who say this don’t mean any harm, but it’s almost like they don’t believe that I’m hurting. You can hurt and still smile. You can want to disappear from the face of he Earth and dance at a party. You can feel completely alone while surrounded by a ton of people.

Even I don’t understand it.

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Replies (2 replies)

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  • Dr GaryCA June 12 at 8:40 pm   

    By the way, you might want to check out the support groups on nami.org. This is the website of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and they list support groups nationwide on their site.

  • Dr GaryCA June 12 at 8:39 pm   

    Hey MolovesHP, welcome to Depression Connect. So glad you are here! I am really sorry to hear you lost your health insurance. I hear similar stories all too often. I think recording yourself is a great idea. I am a big fan of journaling. I think it's a great way to be with yourself and work through the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing. Great idea. What I also think is that no one really understands depression like someone who is living with it. And my clients often tell me that other people don't know what to say. So they may avoid the topic, or avoid them. Or say things like what was said to, which is another way of pretending the depression isn't there. I know that is a very lonely feeling. You aren't alone here, my friend. I hope you will stay in touch with us. Let us know how you're doing.

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