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Anxiety over the Ex.
By August 6, 2011 at 4:21 am 2,491 68 1
I posted a few months back about me and my ex. Today I saw him for the first time in 4 months. He looked good, he told me the same. We closed our joint bank account and then we got into a heated discussion/argument where he point blank told me that he hated the person I had become. OK, fine fair enough, we both made mistakes in the relationship and trust was abused but time has gone, and today I poured my heart to him with guilt and apologies for my wrong-doings yet he yelled in my face that he hated me, there never would be an us ever again, and the pain is unbearable as I love him still and he does not care about me.
He did make me a promise that if I could go 9 months without calling or texting him he would let me see the puppies. (Which to me is a mixed message after he spent so much time and breath telling me, he hated the person I've become, that I am not the person he fell in love with.) I am in alot of pain, and dont know what to do, I have 19 painkiller tables with me, and I feel like swallowing them all and if my body gets through it and I'm still here in the morning it is a sign that I am meant to carry on.
I changed my life for this man, we made choices and lived a life that he no longer cares about, he point blank hates me, and I regret I so regret loosing our baby girl.
I am a mess.
I don't know what to do.