can't get myself to do anything...

By lilawinscott Latest Activity December 16, 2010 at 12:59 pm Views 17,048 Replies 55 Likes 14

lilawinscott

I need to take a shower. I haven't taken a shower in two days and I need to take a shower. Somehow, though, I just find it very hard to do these basic things that need to be done. Does anyone else have troubles like this?… Maybe it just sounds gross… being hygiene-averse… I feel so lazy… I don't want to do the most basic things. I have such trouble paying bills… returning phone calls… going to work. Once I'm at work I'm okay.. it's just the getting there that's hard…

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  • nikoniko92
    nikoniko92 February 5, 2013 at 12:21 am   
    Edited February 5, 2013 at 12:34 am by nikoniko92

    Hmmmm… after hours of reading many comments and a few sites on depression, depression or bored or lazy. I am so confused and hating life more, liked it and then hated it and liked it and then hated it. Typed a lot of stuff of my feelings and what I've been feeling lately and deleting it and not really posting it. Gosh, I am such a loser! How did I get this way? Not all shy people are losers, that's for sure. I just happen to be a loser my whole life? (shrug) I don't know what's what anymore. But I'm pretty sure we're all just a sad race. hahahaha! Sigh, and now that I've expressed that, I feel that there's still hope for the humans. We're not all bad, but then I feel we are all bad a few seconds or mins later. Mood swings? I don't know. WE ARE ALL ILL!!! OMG!!!! or most of us anyways. :P I don't know. I can't speak for everyone, just what I think, I guess? *shrug* Sigh it's like nothing matters, I don't even care anymore, but I'm going to force myself to post this and finish this up. And it even crossed my mind to not even post this or any other 4 other long replies I typed out before deleting it all lol and starting over! HAHAHAHA! Does anyone else do this too? SIGH WHY MUST WE/I HIDE OUR FEELINGS!!! T.T IT'S JUST SO SAD!! I HATE IT!!! DON'T YOU TOO???!!!

  • brittm
    brittm November 29, 2011 at 10:26 pm   

    YES!! me too! I am 100% the same way. God it's so nice knowing it's not just me!

  • elaine52
    elaine52 March 31, 2011 at 5:56 pm   

    I know how you feel, I force myself to take a shower only once a week now, I use to shower daily…I know it sounds gross, but it seems to much effort to put forth. Most days I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed, and I use to be an early riser…but I live with my son, daughter-in-law and two grandsons so I force myself to get up, then I just muddle thru, finally getting dressed in the afternoon…then just get thru the day till bedtime, but sleep eludes me…between the pain, the stress and the trips to the bathroom I barely get any sleep…nothing seems worthwile anymore…:(

  • feeling useless
    feeling useless May 13, 2013 at 11:31 pm   

    I can relate I use to work,clean house,cook and raise my son, be a wife,and I have OCD so my cleaning had to be perfect.My depression caused an addiction because it made me feel better ,but Im recovering now.So,I am clean and as the days go by it gets worse.I had no motivation to shower so I just put on a cap.Then I started letting the laundry overwhelm me.Today I woke up and I didnt want too but my eyes said so.I have anxiety and take zanax prescribed for sleep and still couldnt lay in the bed all day and not face normal chores.I realized everything was so bad I was overwhelmed with anger,anxiety I have sat on this couch all day because seeing dirty dishes or simply filling dog food bowl caused me stress.I do not understand ,its not that I dont want to do these things,I CANT.

  • elaine52
    elaine52 May 14, 2013 at 8:04 am   

    exactly, and no one around here understands it, or chooses to ignore it…

  • Bunda1
    Bunda1 March 31, 2011 at 3:17 pm   

    Yes I know how you felt. Showering is a big chore… Hope things are better now, you've posted this almost 4 months ago…

  • solitude
    solitude March 31, 2011 at 2:44 pm   

    Yes, I do know how you feel. I have had days when all I want to do is sleep. Are you on meds or see a therapist? This can make all the difference. You can not do it alone. Take care and I am here if you need to talk.

  • Surfin1973
    Surfin1973 March 31, 2011 at 2:29 pm   

    I have days when just washing my hair seems like so much effort I either skip a shower, tie up my hair and neglect it, or just take a sponge bath for the relative clean feeling. Its only the depths of depression that make me feel like this… all other times Im normal I don't get it but its whats so.

  • loubrun
    loubrun February 22, 2011 at 11:33 pm   

    Well it is somewhat helpful to know that I am not the only person whose house is a disaster, or the only one who needs a special reason to take a shower. With the bad weather as an excuse there have been days when I didn't leave the house. It is good that I work part time, since that seems to get me going. I hope things improve as the days get longer, I am getting fatter and losing my physical conditioning. I also have trouble doing things like paying bills and seeing friends.

  • bambam1213
    bambam1213 February 22, 2011 at 8:21 am   

    i am just as bad at finding it hard to do things.i mosty take a shower every day .but the are times i cant find my sejf taking one…let alon doing the back thing in my life…some day are wheth than outhers…it seem hared and hader to get out of bed in the morning…i do not know what to do??????

  • Surfin1973
    Surfin1973 February 18, 2011 at 5:56 pm   

    Ooooh yah. Normally I shower daily as my routine… when smashed by depression it gets so difficult to actually get wet (too big of a chore) I resort to washing in the sink with washrag and hot water just to keep the filth down but I still feel not as good as a shower but I totally LACK the want to or will to MAKE myself do it! I feel like my arms are too heavy to lift and shampoo my hair. I feel like the whole 'process' is just too much for me. Im not a nasty person. I know debilitating depression, friend… my ADL's suffer greatly when Im very down. Hard to groom or brush teeth or anything I wouldn't ordinarily think twice about. I frankly don't know how much longer I can stand this. I totally understand you. Good luck.

  • saco27
    saco27 February 18, 2011 at 4:34 pm   

    Wow…I felt like I was really my own post too. I feel the same way many days. My house is a mess…I mean, really a mess. And the messier it gets, the more overwhelmed by it I get…I definitely don't make it into the shower everyday. Some days I barely get my daughter fed and dressed. I started a part time job this year. Sometimes its good to have to get out of the house, but sometimes I can't take small everyday stressors. The smallest criticism from my boss can break me into tears. Blah! Nice to know I'm not the only one!

  • Surfin1973
    Surfin1973 February 18, 2011 at 5:58 pm   

    Oh man, I can relate to YOU, too! NO YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE. Hang in there!

  • powerhouski
    powerhouski February 18, 2011 at 11:07 am   

    Its really hard to get up for work. If I didn't have a disabled son, I wouldn't care for anything, but I know I have one more thing that I am responsible for. The bills, cleaning, cooking, shopping, and everything is just overwhelming. After I get to work, I get thru the day. The episodes seem to get closer and closer together and last for longer periods of time. It's awful. Have had a lot of stressors like divorce, bankruptcy, an aging mom, and a disabiled child who was assaulted on his last job—are stressors triggers? I read somewhere in this blog about depression support groups—has anyone ever gone to one and how did they find the experience? Sometimes I think the Lifetime Movie Network is my only friend.

  • powerhouski
    powerhouski February 18, 2011 at 10:51 am   

    I've been there and hate myself when I am there. Do destructive things. Wish I could find someone in my area to talk with. Its tough. I find now that when I start to do the things I should to get back to myself, I get angry when people call looking for me to do things for them. Don't they get it, I can't even do things for myself - Ugh. Of course, I eat, and that only makes me worse off. How did I ever get to this state and I want my old self back. Shrinks are bumbling idiots spending a few mins and talking about meds. Haven't had any luck with them either. Go for counseling is their favorite line. If I can't even get myself out of bed, how am I going to get to a counselor. I'm going to church this weekend. Maybe I'll find solace there. I've tried for a month and haven't gotten there, but this weekend I am getting there. There has got to be something out there I can dig into that lifts my spirits. Anyone find anything?

  • nikoniko92
    nikoniko92 February 4, 2013 at 10:51 pm   

    Well, at least you go to Church! I do believe in God, I keep telling myself that I'll go to church once I get a job, but I don't. I know I should just go to church, but it's the part of me that has no job that I'm scared to answer that I'm a loser to people, IF THEY DO ask me what I'm doing right now. Cause I'm a shy person and I never talked until I was like 18 or 19 to my fellow church members. Same people still go there. Now that I am talking more, I am dreading that they'll ask that and I'll answer to that and I don't want them to think I'm a loser, since they don't know me and all. But they wouldn't judge me, I should know… well I can't speak for them of who they are, but I don't want them to know that I'm a loser now that I am talking with them finally after many years of silence to them. My church members are nice people and care. I just need to make that move to go, you know? Why should me not having a job have to do with not wanting to go to church? Ugh. I'm horrible, I know. I was raised in a Christian family, but I'm not at all acting like one, nor really trying cause of my fears, so I do not call myself a Christian for your information. Sigh, I just sometimes think that God is punishing me and not giving me a job cause I've been neglecting God for so long. And I do know that God does not abandon you, but then he doesn't listen to prayers of those who have abandon him. I don't want to say that I've abandon God, but the way I am now, seems very much to me that I probably have? I don't know. I'm unsure, yet I know what I am doing wrong(I think) and what I should be doing though(as in, just go to church, what's stopping me? job security?) Sigh. I am such a fail of a human being. God knows that already lol.

  • snj_dvs34
    snj_dvs34 February 17, 2011 at 11:21 am   

    When I firs found that I had deppression I didn't take a shower for a week. I couldn't all I wanted to do was sleep, but eventually you have to make yourself do things that you don't want to do.

  • Andreapons
    Andreapons February 17, 2011 at 9:22 am   

    I'm right there with u!!! My house is disgusting!! And I just don't care. As soon as I get home I go to bed. I just don't want to deal with any of it. Which makes it worse. Ur NOT alone…trust me. I don't feel like anything matters anymore.

  • wendell_betty07
    wendell_betty07 February 17, 2011 at 8:16 am   

    I know how you feel.I dont feel like doing anything.I know ive been very depressed.Ive gained alot of weight.Now my husband wants a divorce.I have other health problems,but I dont have the money to get health insurance.Depression is a terrible illness.because Im sick he doesnt want anything to do with me.i was working 12 hours a day.And when I came home at 8:ooo pm he still expected me to cook his supper ,and he got off work at 4:00

  • bookworm25
    bookworm25 February 17, 2011 at 7:58 am   

    I am going through the same thing. I can't do much of anything anymore and it's not a laziness thing, it's a symptom of depression.

  • Midwestmess
    Midwestmess January 16, 2011 at 2:40 pm   

    You are not alone, I Feel the same way right now. I am sorry you are feeling so horrible but try not to beat yourself up.

  • Midwestmess
    Midwestmess January 16, 2011 at 2:42 pm   

    If you can try and take a bath, I find when i feel the way you do a bath seems like less effort then a shower, instead of laying in bed or on the sofa you are laying in a warm bath.

  • meg585
    meg585 January 12, 2011 at 7:05 pm   

    Yes honey, others do have this same problem. I do. Your post sounded like me talking to my husband. I just sort of hover through my day, sometimes cant even find the will to shower, wash my face, step outside or even sitting up is just momumentally hard. I understand and my thoughts go out to you sweetie…

  • AnCar
    AnCar December 30, 2010 at 9:49 pm   

    I feel the same way you do. Just know that you are not alone. I went through a not wanting to bathe phase and it eventually passed.

  • JACKYPAM
    JACKYPAM December 28, 2010 at 6:26 am   

    OMG,

    you sure your name is not Jackie Allen????? That's my name and you have stolen my feelings…lol! I know that this is no laughing matter but I swear to God you explained that exactly like I would have when I was in that exact position. Not that I've come to far from it, my goodness I didn't think no one else could experience what I have.
    Seriously though, thank God you can still go to work. Over a year ago I got so bad I had to walk away after 10 years on that particular job. Everything became so overwhelming that either I was going to die on the job or go get help! I chose to go get help. I still have very very hard times but without the stress of work. I know everyone can't just walk away from a job, but thank God I could walk away and maintain somewhat of my lifestyle which is almost nothing now days.

    I'VE BEEN RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE AND IT WAS SO HARD!

  • ZenDarling
    ZenDarling December 26, 2010 at 12:16 pm   

    Hi all. I'm brand new here and don't know the "rules" so please feel free to give constructive criticism if I inadvertantly break the rules. I too have difficulty making myself do much of anything. Also, I am so lonely. I have not had the energy to maintian healthy relationships and have now let my home get so out of order that I couldn't have people over if I wanted to. I really need help but don't know where to turn. I see a therapist weekly, but my sessions will end soon due to lack of funds. Does anyone know of any support groups for depression, mental health, etc., that function like AA?

  • Dr GaryCA January 1, 2011 at 6:37 pm   

    Hi,

    I just wanted to jump in and welcome you to Depression Connect. You might want to check out www.nami.org, the National Alliance of the Mentally Ill. The site includes a listing of local support groups. Also, check with your local social services or mental health department to see if they sponsor support groups. If you do some digging, you will hopefully come up with some options.

    I wish you the best! Keep in touch with us.

  • Brad71
    Brad71 December 26, 2010 at 11:34 am   

    Hi Lila,
    I know exactly what you are going through and felt like I was the only one until I scrolled done this page. For me it is shaving and sometimes showering. Also, the laying in bed. Before I know it the day is half over. So what I started to do on the computer was make a list of things to do…small things like feed the cats, clean the litter boxes, shower/shave…and a couple bigger ones. Then when I did it, I would put done next to it in bold letters. It would make me feel good when I saw that DONE even if it was a "small" thing and it would motivate me to do more. I also started recording my day. It may be a little OCD but it helps me to see the things I did accomplish…sometimes I forget them or do not notice them. Know what I mean? Hope that helps. Good Luck!!
    Brad

  • Traci Erinn
    Traci Erinn December 27, 2010 at 1:30 am   

    I try the same thing. Glad to hear I'm not the only one. So funny, I thought I was ridiculous for making lists with things like"get dressed". So glad to have found this site!

  • Dr GaryCA January 1, 2011 at 6:38 pm   

    Great idea here, Brad. Liists are a great motivator. There can be a real sense of satisfaction in checking off a completed task, and it can motivate you to tackle the next in line.

  • HoosierBill
    HoosierBill December 21, 2010 at 2:02 pm   

    i feel ya, i feel so tired and lazy. its such a chore for me to do even the simplest thing. showering and shaving is like, way go thru it im not going anywhere. and with no money i think im saving money.

  • lookin4help
    lookin4help December 26, 2010 at 6:14 pm   

    how do you even work without it effecting you? I feel like quiting my job but i have too many people depending on me there and at home. I don't know how much longer I can take it.

  • Surfin1973
    Surfin1973 February 17, 2011 at 12:50 pm   

    I couldn't take it anymore either. Depression is terrible. 5 years ago a therapist recommended disability for me and I refused to consider it! Moved to another city and worked twice as hard to prove HER wrong. Burnt out quickly after much success… 2 years into the job I just couldn't keep up the manic gas and began to shift back to depression. I did eventually get disability and even being out of work has not helped me get better. I thought it would be miraculous help! It just allowed the full blown force of depression GET ME without the 'have to's' of getting up and facing the day. Necessary (Im working on this) but enabling to let my depression THRIVE like bacteria in a dark moist hole. Gross.

  • feeling useless
    feeling useless May 13, 2013 at 11:43 pm   

    I am 40 and have always worked until this depression started,it got worse in 2010.I have not been able to hold a job since,so I kept saying I will look when I feel better.That has not happened,if I would have known I would have started the disability process long ago.I have hurt us financially because of my depression.

  • erica_in_oc
    erica_in_oc December 20, 2010 at 3:37 pm   
    Edited December 20, 2010 at 6:37 pm by erica_in_oc

    yes, this past weekend I put my pajamas on Friday night and didn't change or shower until Monday. I was sooo tired and didn't want to talk to anyone. All I could do was watch TV and sleep. Just learned this is a phase of depression called psycomotor retardation.

  • Babitti
    Babitti December 20, 2010 at 9:52 pm   

    yeow…what a terrible term: psychomotor retardation, it sounds so awful. I don't like those two words…awful. as aI mutter to myself.

  • Surfin1973
    Surfin1973 February 17, 2011 at 12:53 pm   

    Im at the point right now? Lifting my arms to shampoo my hair is too much effort. Ugh… I can't even think about getting wet and all the bother that comes for a girl in the shower so I have resorted to sponge-baths and prayer… Lord… when does the crushing depression end? Seriously hating it.

  • forever girl
    forever girl December 18, 2010 at 12:37 pm   

    I am new on here so I hope it is ok to jump in. I feel the exact same way, I cannot believe myself. I will go a couple days and then realize I haven't been out of bed long enough to do anything and I havent taken a shower. I used to be something. I used to take a shower every morning, "get ready" and I just can't anymore. I want to!!! I have all these things in my mind I want to do but I feel soooo stupid, I cannot get off my butt and get dressed and go. I want to take my children to a special place today and dinner and a movie, sounds so good…but I am just here. I pray and beg God to please have mercy on me and take this depression away. I do not want to be like this, oh I want to be better. Not many people understand and one of my friends is a male and I have known him since I was 12 or something and he gets PTSD, but I feel it is not right to talk to him about it…he suffers too from something I am sure is a horrible thing that caused his PTSD and it makes me feel like I shouldnt complain about mine. Anyway sorry if I make no sense…that seems to be the norm lately.

  • Traci Erinn
    Traci Erinn December 27, 2010 at 1:35 am   

    Totally feel you on this. I have lots of thoughts of things I should, could do and can't get myself up and dressed to do anything. I can't remember things…I feel like an idiot but I used to be great. Friends, social, energetic…what happened??? The worst is feeling so badly about feeling this way. I want to fix it but don't know how.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous February 17, 2011 at 2:08 pm   

    I feel just like you do. I can't get myself to want to do anything. I have to force myself to do stuff. Showering, cleaning, even interacting with my family. It's like something has just grabbed hold of me and paralyzed me. No one in my family really understands it when I try to talk about what I am going through and some don't even talk to me because "I' to depressed to talk to." I really don't have anyone to talk to about anything.

  • stephie10
    stephie10 December 17, 2010 at 2:14 pm   

    I get where you are coming from. The only reason i get out of bed in the morning is because my baby is crying and i have to get the other two kids off to school. Sometimes i won't even brush my hair until ten minutes before my husband comes home. You have to will yourself to do even the simplest of tasks. Hope it gets better!

  • Traci Erinn
    Traci Erinn December 27, 2010 at 1:35 am   

    Same here!

  • slebo
    slebo December 17, 2010 at 2:08 pm   

    Hang in there, girlfriend! I get like that, as well, when I enter into my depressive episodes! I agree with Babitti, that when you push yourself to get into the shower, it certainly feels good. For me it feels like I'm washing away the pain! Have you ever tried Bath and Body Works aromatherapy body washes? They have it for sleep, energy, stress relief… maybe one of those may motivate you or make you feel a little bit better? I've tried them before and they smell so good, and they relax me. There's usually a good sale on them, too! Depression is completely debilitating. I am so sorry you are suffering with it!

  • Babitti
    Babitti December 16, 2010 at 7:47 pm   

    lila, I have troubles like you, I push myself to do a couple of things a day, and yes once you strat doing it it's okay usually. In the case of a shower it feels good once you get in there. I pay bills on a different day, and so on. I also have people remind me and nudge me kindly (2 kind relatives). It's hard, and I don't want to be this way, but it's the depression, not us. Babs

  • lilawinscott
    lilawinscott December 16, 2010 at 10:57 pm   

    I try to push myself.. I mean..I did take that shower.. then took a break because the idea of drying my hair seemed overwhelming… but I did that too. Dragged myself to work. Texted a friend that I would call her after 9 (so that I will HAVE to do it).. I'm just so tired of the effort everything takes… it doesn't seem to get easier with time. I mean.. I'm on antidepressants and I think they are helping a bit.. but this lack of motivation doesn't seem to be going anywhere. It just makes me feel so tired. Tired all the time…

  • coreymmafighter
    coreymmafighter December 16, 2010 at 11:34 pm   

    try not to burn yourself out or overwhelm yourself. and when you do get something done enjoy its a victory.

  • Babitti
    Babitti December 17, 2010 at 9:40 am   

    Lila, I agree w/ corey below, when you get something done take the time to enjoy the "I got it done" feeling. Get a haircut that almost self does itself after some towel drying,
    that's what I did- I have to do a little but very little fuss. Friends are good to have so keep that in the mix. I am tired most of the time too, but I don't think my anti depressant is working very well, I am barely getting by, tired alot, unmotivated. I am working w/my doctor to hopefully make some changes, and get some blood tests done that might tell what drugs will work better… maybe you should too?

  • ShellyCO
    ShellyCO December 17, 2010 at 4:48 pm   

    It does feel overwhelming at times, just to take a shower, but you did it. Yay! Give yourself credit when you do get something done. It helps me just to think of doing 1 thing and not all the things I need to get done. I usually can do 1 thing and that feels good so I do 1 more. Sometimes it helps to get the ball rolling. Hang in there.

  • Dr GaryCA December 16, 2010 at 3:43 pm   

    Hi,

    I will piggy-back with tSquare. What's happening with you is an illustration of how insidious depression can be. Depression makes you feel stuck, pushes you down so hard that it feels impossible to motivate yourself to do even the simple chores of life, like take a shower.

    Are you seeing a therapist? It would be helpful to talk about this with a mental health professional, and work on a strategy to get yourself moving forward again.

    I always recommend tiny baby steps. Maybe choosing one or two things to do one day, then maybe adding something the next day. It is kind of based on the idea of "fake it 'til you make it." Sometimes, just doing something simple like getting into the shower can feel rewarding enough that, the next day, taking a shower plus doing one more thing, becomes possible.

    I guess what I am saying that, if you wait to feel better before you do anything, you might not do anything. But if you grit your teeth and take a step forward, regardless of what your depression is telling you, you might start to regain your balance. Might be worth a try.

    Again, it's really important to work with a mental professional when you are in the midst of a depression episode. The support of caring family or friends, or a support group, is also an important tool in battling depression.

    You have lots of support right here on Depression Connect. Stay close and keep us posted!

  • Traci Erinn
    Traci Erinn December 27, 2010 at 1:40 am   

    Thanks Doc. Definitely makes sense. I need to quit waiting for my "feelings" to get me to do something.

  • Dr GaryCA December 27, 2010 at 9:01 am   

    I hope this helps. I know you are reallly struggling. Please keep us posted.

  • tSquare
    tSquare December 16, 2010 at 3:00 pm   

    Sounds like.. um… "normal" depression the 'just do's' are 'just not happening' crud that goes on. Its not like one doesn't want to do those basic things, like showers, dishes, eating, answering phones and a plethera of other stuff. You just kind of end up litterally or figerative staring at it and go 'aint happening' and you have no earthly reason why, it just isn't.

  • tSquare
    tSquare December 17, 2010 at 10:19 am   

    I concure with everyone's posts, Lilawainscot, about being sure to 'reward' yourself for doing that 'thing' when you've done it - Savor it for sure. No, not savor in the sense of 'you got this one and it'll be along time before the next one' but because you DESERVE it, the reward of that sense of TRUE ACOMPLISHMENT. I mean that. When one is depressed every thought beyond 'nada' or 'ugg' is a big deal and can be a major feat. So be sure to acknowledge to yourself a true thank you to you, no sarcasim in the thanks, and savor the acomplishment without adding in the back of your thoughts a handy self-negative such as 'about time' or 'yea, done that now how about all this other' or like self-negativism. Trust me, that can be hard to do too. BTDT way too much myself.

    I meant to also note that I understand how everything up to the point of actually getting to work is a climb up Mount Everest, and then being at work is a kind of 'okay' and functional until you go home after and then same-o, same-o alone with yourself again. BTDT way too much myself too. I think it is when we are at home we just have ourselves to face (others there or not) and when at work we have on our 'work mask' and we don't have only ourselves to face and confront. We are 'distracted' , as I call it, from being boxed in our own 'head realm'. That make any sense? When not at home, even at my part time job now, I chuck along and don't often feel the mental gray-funk much unless I have a moment of 'non-busy' and suddenly 'I'M THERE' again mentally looking back from my own mind-mirror. If I realize it then I'll get up and 'work' even harder and so on. At home, Mount Everest again as soon as I open my front door.

    Why exactly this yin-yang of being able to do 'elsewhere' and not-do at home still does and doesn't baffle me. I kind of understand a little - home is warm, safe, relax-relm, the 'just be me' place. Where work is 'the other me' as it were. So, you are not alone in what is going on with you as you wrote it. Hope that in itself helps a bit knowing you are not the only human on the planet who this crud happens too. I too would suggest talking about this with your doc's and/or therapist/councilor about what is going on (or getting this kind of help). For if my expeerience in this odd duality of functionability is any go-by its not a duality that can be maintained for too long before even work starts being impacted big time too (your actual inability to function there as well becoming a truth too and not an okay enough anymore).

    Keep trying, Lilawainscot !! ;-)

  • Halina
    Halina December 21, 2010 at 10:30 pm   

    I have to agree its only a matter of time before our illness affects our work life. I use to be able to put my "work face" on but for the first time in 20 yrs it has now affected me in the work place,i've taken a leave of abscence but am fighting my short term dissabilty insurance ,they owe me pay since august. i have been off and on my meds depending if i have the money for them. I tried to call different pharmecutical companies but i didnt qualify for help. But i also started talking to a therapist and she is a Godsend. We are slowly working towards the correct medication to go along with my therapy to get me back to work. Im so tired of being tired!! No one in my family understands it can be a chore for me to get dressed in the morning …let alone go to work, I work for a collection dept in a bank. It gets so hard to have empathy for my customers when i want to shout " i have problems too!!!" but of course i cant do that. i use to able to control myself at work and keep it a separate entity but the " work Halina" and the "at Home" Halina are now one and the same..but when i heard my son asked my husband "what time did she get up" i became determined to try and fight my demons with my tharapists help of course..none of us are alone thankfully i stumbled across this site and i know im not alone ..I understand that others have the same issues like me and we can vent to each other! It means so much when a friend on this site acknowedges how I feel..they can understand first hand, so thanks to all who take the time to reply to someone who needed a shoulder to lean on …have a good Holiday everyone, an I hope we all get thru this holiday with some ease..holidays were always a downfall for me . I go thru the motions but am not into the holidays but this year my daughter flew home to see us and for the first time in 5 years i have both my kids and my spouse together..so im trying not to fret about money i dont have and just be grateful she came home to see me ..it sounds corny but i really think i might be able to get thru christmas this year breathing a little easier than i ever have ..I even have a job interview for another job with a bit of a paycut but not half the pressure that my current job holds..i'll pray for all of us these next few days..

  • Jcctar
    Jcctar November 13, 2013 at 3:18 pm   

    I just found this sight and I am glad and sad. I have been treated for depression but I thought taking meds would "fix things". I actually thought I am just lazy. I could not understand why I stopped socializing, find it hard to clean my home, always late, find excuses to miss work or meetings. I work part time as I am older and am so thankful as this makes me get up and going. I have always joined groups etc but never follow through on anything as one of the meeting days I will stay in bed and sleep for a day or two. And then I will stop going. Sleep is my problem. Worry of death. Worry I will not go to heaven. I tell so many lies about why I missed some special event. I sleep rather than participate in life. I have been to therapy but they have not helped. I'm going to go to another and guess keep trying until I can find someone to see through my "social face and personality". In public I am we'll dressed, well spoken, know what people want to see and hear.

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