Hi kmissyking10,

Nice to meet you! Thanks for checking in with a good question. I want to address your question from different pespectives.

First, therapy is a process. It takes awhile for the counselor and the client to build a relationship, for the counselor to learn how to best work with the client, and for the client to learn to trust the counselor. Some relationships develop quickly, and some take more time. It takes whatever time it takes. So if you and your counselor haven't been working together for very long, you may need more time to get to know each other.

Also, therapy is a process. It takes time for the counselor and the client to understand the issues and to develop a strategy for getting better. It is kind of like peeling an onion. And each time you meet you peel the onion back a little more. Thinking back to when you first started therapy, do you see where you have made progress? You might be surprised at how far you have come. Even getting to an understanding of what might be causing your depression, and what keeps you depressed, and anxious, is progress.

Chemistry is another issue. Sometimes a counselor and a client don't have good chemistry, for whatever reason. Maybe the counselor's style doesn't match what you are expecting, or you don't relate to each other well for some reason.

Ideally, your therapy should be based on specific goals and objectives — what you want to accomplish and what the two of you are going to do to help you achieve your goals. Have you and your counselor talked about exactly what you want to accomplish? And what this will mean in terms of what you will do in the therapy?

So, my suggestion: Have a talk with your counselor. Let him/her know you don't think you are getting help. Express your concerns. Ask for his/her perspective. This can benefit you in more than one way. First, an honest discussion is a great way to build trust. Secondly, this discussion would provide an opportunity for you and your counselor to discuss your goals. Thirdly, your counselor may not be aware of how you are feeling, and may want to change direction in the therapy. And fourth, having an honest discussion will help you to determine if you want to continue with this counselor or if you want to make a change. And most likely, if you do decide to change, you will also be more aware of what the qualities you want in the counselor you decide to work wth.

Therapy is all about talking. And one really important conversatiion to have is about how the therapy is working. This is a conversation that, ideally, you and your therapist should have on an ongoing basis.

I hope this helps. Thanks for getting in touch. And keep us posted on how you're doing!


Answered By Answered by Dr GaryCA
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