Rinnie009
A:

HI Rinnie,

I am glad you reached out. This is a really important question, not cliché at all.

When a relationship ends, we experience a loss. And then we grieve. Each of us grieves in our own way. So what you are experiencing may be the symptoms of grief, including the ups and downs depending on the day. It's normal to just feel sad a lot, to feel kind of empty.

The advice I give to my clients who are facing a loss is to allow themselves to experience their grief. To go off by themselves and cry if they need to, for example.

Here are some of things I encourage grieving clients to do: Stay active in your life, even if it feels like you are going through the motions. Do things that help you to feel connected, activities that you enjoy, or that help you feel calm and centered. Try to eat healthy, even if you are hungry. Take time for rest. And talk — tell the story of your loss over and over if you need to. Each time you tell the story, it clicks into place, and this helps you to come to acceptance. A loss is the end of a chapter, and the beginning of a new chapter.

It sounds like you are already doing some of things I talked about. Sounds like you are trying to stay active in your life. I understand "putting up a front." But I also hope you have people in your life that you can just be yourself with, who can listen without judging you, or him, or telling you how you should feel or what you should do.

This might also be a time to sit down with a counselor, to sort out your feelings and get some additional perspective. Just something for you to think about.

But if you feel like you can't function very well in your daily life, if you are feeling overwhelmed by your feelings of loss, then this is definitely a time to reach out for help. And if you are currently in treatment, you might also let your providers know what's going on, and ask for some additional support.

Talk things out. Don't go through this alone.

And please keep us posted on your you are doing.

Take good care of yourself, my friend.

Gary

Answered By Answered by Dr GaryCA
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