Hi Jacky,

Nice to meet you. I am glad you checked in.

I am assuming that you are still seeing your therapist. Therapy can help a lot when you are living with depression and anxiety, so it's good to know you have been working with a therapist, and making progress. Therapy works when you do the work! That's great.

As for the medication, some people benefit more than others. But what I would also add is that it can take some time and patience to get to the regimen that is right for you. So if you and your therapist decide you might benefit, keep in mind that you might do better with a different regimen. Just throwing that out there. Again, I assume you and your therapist, as well as your psychiatrist, have talked about all of this.

The connection you have made between increased anxiety and depression and your menstrual cycle is certainly worth pursuing. This is something I would encourage you to discuss with a physician.

Good to know that your boyfriend is trying to be supportive. I think people who don't live with anxiety and depression can only understand what that's like at an intellectual level. They haven't really lived it. So while they try hard to understand what you're going through, they can only understand to a certain point. So I know this can be disappointing and frustrating at times. Nobody really understands what it's like if they haven't experienced it themselves. Friends and family often do the best they can, but that doesn't always feel like enough when you are really feeling bad.

I am wondering if it might help to ask your therapist if your boyfriend could attend a session with you. This way, your therapist might be able to help explain to him how you are feeling, what your challenges are, and what help you need from him. Some therapists are comfortable with this idea, others aren't. But it might be worth looking into.

I also encourage you to do things that enhance your wellness. Eat healthy, get rest, get exercise, do things you enjoy, get support from friends and family. I think it's important to have a strong social network of people who can be there for you, who can listen. Support is power.

Again, I really encourage you to stay connected with your therapist. You might talk about how to cope during times when you are feeling especially anxious and depressed. And again, consider talking to your doctor about this as well.

And you know that if there is a time when you are feeling especially overwhelmed, you can also report to an emergency room and ask for help.

Take good care of yourself. And please keep me posted on how you're doing.


Answered By Answered by Dr GaryCA
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Comments (2 comments)

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Renewing January 30, 2018 at 8:01 pm   

I needed these tipbits for my own life as well. My takeaway from this is "Therapy works when you/ I do the work". Thank You Thank You to both of you!

Jacky_L January 17, 2018 at 9:57 pm   

Hello Dr. McClain,
Thank you for your reply. I had been with my therapist for over 2 years under a different provider. Now that I have new insurance, I will need to find a new therapist. I have that scheduled for next week. I was honestly anxious about having a new therapist, as I was used to/comfortable with the progress I made with my previous.

Thank you for your suggestion in regards to my boyfriend. It is an option that I would like to explore so that I can better understand how to communicate my anxious feelings as well.

Your work and attention to the depression connect is much appreciated.
Thank you,

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